A modern dissertation on the Canadian winter

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Yo dawg, it be chillin

 

Lol jk, dis be amateur hour. Ppl be freakin at neg 20. Im like, you seri? Dis a joke to da real peeps outside dis tail.

 

Shout out to my homies in da EO. And CO. and I guess NO. let’s be seri – soudarn Ontario has some mild ass winters. And no one better pull that bullsheit about last year when it was -40. Y’all even left da GTA? Its like, -40 in half of Canada most of da winter. Winni reaches -50 sometimes. Y’all think dis is bad? Dis is nothin

 

Da snow also be a joke. Da fact I don’t need to climb a mountain of snow to get on da bus is nothin. Y’all should see da snow banks in da OV, dats da Ottawa Valley fools.

 

Y’know wat dis gangsta don’t get? All dese damn fools, out in dis damn town, bitchin about da cold and dey dressed like sheit. WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT MUTHAFUCKA? A goddamn warm patch to pass thru?!

 

Crazy ass white boyz and basic ass bitches be wearin deir fall jackets and dey act cool as fuck. Y’know why? CAUSE DAM MUTHAFUCKAS ACTUALLY BE COLD. Day be da fools that freeze deir ass on da way to uni. Wear yo hats, wear yo scarves, stop actin like muthafuckin models on some weak ass walkway. Dis aint da 2015 winter catalogue, dis da real shit of winter. ‘erryone with dem expensive ass Canada goose jackets be in da right, dey know what da fuc is up.

 

Yo. Knock knock. Who dere? FUCKIN -35 WITH DA WINDCHILL BITCH. I don’t wanna be seein none dem weak ass Uggs. I don’t wanna see none dem punk ass convers. Wear proper winter sheit. Jeeeezus.

 

I don’t care if y’all look like da next Michelin man. If y’all complain ‘bout da cold, yo fools ain’t ready for it.

 

Word.

 

-Doggie Z

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