There was a time when dating was a simple economic transaction between families. Humans married for money and assets. Women were negotiated in business deals, and men of the right stature had their pick of the litter. Fast forward to year 2012. Dating has become a matter of swiping right or left on hundreds of lonely millennials within a ten km radius of you, in the palm of your hands. Casual sex isn’t as frowned upon the way it used to be, chivalry is dead, commitment is unheard of, and god forbid you leave someone on read.
Every issue, I’ll be highlighting some of the perils and trends of dating as a millennial in the technology age. My fellow non-homeowners: you are NOT in this alone. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been ghosted, I often grapple with who should pick up the bill, and in true UW fashion, I’ve gone on a date to Mr. Paninos.
The first lesson to dating as a millenial? The art of ghosting. Ghosting is when someone who was in a relationship of sorts (yes, this includes friends with benefits), ignores their partner or completely removes all forms of communication with no reason or notice given. The uptick in ghosting amongst millennials can be contributed to poor communication skills thanks to the internet, and the “gotta have ‘em all” mentality of college dating.
When is it okay, if ever, to ghost someone? In an idealistic world, we would treat people the way we’d like to be treated, and while in my mind, that means that you don’t end affairs by not saying anything, some people may disagree. Maybe you’re awful at confrontation. Maybe you don’t know what to say so that the other person isn’t hurt. Maybe you genuinely just don’t care about the other person’s feelings. I’m withholding my judgement! Everyone has their own story. If you’re wondering whether or not you should ghost someone, or if you should be upset that you’re ghosted, go by the rule of 3’s. If you’ve gone on more than three dates, or follow each other on three or more social networks, you owe that person an explanation for not wanting to continue relations anymore.
Three dates is how long it takes to learn someone’s last name, how many siblings they have, their dreams and passions, and essentially all of the details that makes them feel like someone you actually care about, and not a commodity like apps like Tinder and Bumble do. Ghosting someone who you keep up with on three or more social networks can make navigating the Instagram sphere a little bit awkward, unless of course, you unfollow them, which is just mean.
If you’ve been ghosted, you might be torn between calling the other person out, or moving on. Here, the rule of 3’s also works. Has it been more than three dates? Then DRAG THEM, GIRL! You’re strictly SnapChat friends and nothing else? Move on, make money moves.