FOREIGN AFFAIRS: TRUBAMA IS TRU

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An international love affair with its roots at the University of Waterloo? <em>Waterloo Enquirer </em>has the exclusive details of Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama&rsquo;s tremulous affair that began during Trudeau&rsquo;s Jan. 14 visit to the University of Waterloo.&nbsp;</p>

“I was in charge of managing the prime minister’s schedule while visiting the University of Waterloo. You wouldn’t imagine the amount of times he kept sneaking into hallways to take ‘personal calls’,” Stephanie Lord, University of Waterloo public affairs co-ordinator said in an exclusive interview with the Waterloo Enquirer. “Once or twice I caught hushed words about foreign fiscal policies and heated discussions of trade relations. It was pretty scandalous.”

While the couple was first spotted flirting during their time at the Manila APEC summit in 2015, Trudeau’s long-awaited March 2016 visit to Washington packed with long state dinners and speeches only confirmed the public’s suspicions. The object of Trudeau’s secret conversations was revealed to be none other than Obama. The Internet became a flurry of candid photos of their amorous gazes, and the tender, almost reverent looks the Canadian world leader directed Obama’s way.

“It’s obvious they are in love,” said avid Trubama fan and UW economics student Beatrice Lou. “The world just hasn’t seen this sort of chemistry between world leaders before.”

Not all members of the countries share this view though. Strong opposition to the obviously totally in love world leaders has sprung up. 

“Trudeau is simply too good looking. It was only a matter of time before one of these delusional fan girls went too far and shipped him with someone. The man is married for fuck’s sake,” said Andrew Poe, a local Waterloo resident and leader of the Trubama Conspiracy campaign. “Though I suppose it was this or Trump.”

Naysayers will have to face the truth eventually though, as the recent removal of America’s travel ban to Cuba means that the two world leaders have reportedly already visited Cuba together as a pseudo-honeymoon. Onlookers have reported seeing the bespoke couple wearing floral shirts, eating cubano, and drinking out of shared coconuts. 

Though with the upcoming elections, Trubama’s time might be running short. A new American president will be elected Nov. 8, putting an end to the affair to the horror of fangirls everywhere.

“Bernie is like a million years old, Hillary looks like she has to pay people to say she’s fun, and Trump … I decline to even comment on that horrifying prospect. What would their ship name even be? Their last names both start with the same three damn letters! We’d have to scrape by with first names. Dontin? Justald? Terrible,” Lou added, shuddering visibly in disgust wearing her Trubama Pride sweater.

Luckily for Lou, for the time being, Trudeau and Obama will continue to rule together as basically the most attractive political duo in all of history. Until that fateful day, we can only pray that Trudeau’s gender equal cabinet will rub off on America and that in turn this union will prove fruitful at improving the Canadian Netflix’s shit content.

And I — I mean fangirls ­— will continue to pray that the fanfiction keeps coming in until then. (Please rec me your coffee shop AUs at trubama@waterlooenquirer.ca)

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