Half-time is half-baked

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I don't really watch the Super Bowl. To me, the only thing more boring than watching people play sports is hearing people talk about watching people play sports. So in general, I usually spend Super Bowl Sunday locked away in my room, isolating myself from everybody else and their football-induced frenzies. But this year, I decided to make a change. 

At first, I thought about covering the entirety of the Super Bowl, but about five seconds into watching the game I got bored and decided to play video games until the main event: the half-time show. 

Aside from knowing that Bruno Mars was set to perform, I didn’t really know what to expect from the show. Due to my super edgy refusal to watch anything Super Bowl-related (except for its commercials, obviously), I can’t remember ever seeing the Super Bowl half-time show before. So I suppose I was sort of intrigued when the announcers declared that it was time for the half-time show. Now that I’ve seen it, all I really have to say is … meh. 

The show began in one of the most contrived ways possible, with a chorus of children singing the opening to “Billionaire” as a freaking American flag was displayed on the massive screen behind them. Of course. Thankfully, the choir was interrupted by Bruno Mars’ drum solo before my urge to change the channel grew too great, and things generally improved from there. Mars had a massive amount of energy, and talent to match. Switching between songs at a rapid pace, the show was never really a dull affair while he was on stage. 

A few songs in, the pace of the music changed and Mars began chanting “Give it away, give it away, give it away now!”, and in a move that would make Beetlejuice proud, after repeating it three times, the Red Hot Chili Peppers appeared on stage.

I don’t really see why Bruno Mars got paired up with the Red Hot Chili Peppers — their styles are wildly different. You could see it on stage: Mars and his troupe of musicians were dressed in golden suits, while RHCP leaned towards the shirtless side of the spectrum. Still, both acts definitely had energy to spare, and it was a fun affair altogether. 

Anyway, after performing “Give it Away” both Mars and the Peppers got off stage for a 30-second clip of overseas soldiers sending messages to their loved ones. I didn’t really have a problem with it, but it probably would have been more poignant if it hadn’t been directly preceded by a bunch of sweaty dudes screaming about having sex. 

Then Bruno finished the show off with “Just the Way You Are” and there were a crapload of fireworks. Ehh … OK. 

 It isn’t that I think the half-time show was terrible. All the performers were talented, and I imagine it was an exciting spectacle for those in the audience. Aside from the occasional tackiness, my main problem with it was that there was never really anything outstanding about it. There was nothing there that you haven’t seen before. 

People hype up the Super Bowl’s half-time show so much, and I don’t really see why. When it comes down to it, it was basically just a 10-minute concert. Nothing scandalous or world-changing happened. Really, the only thing people could say about it was that the performers sang well, which seems like a very low place to set the bar. Throughout the performance, I couldn’t help but think that an actual concert for either Bruno Mars or the Red Hot Chili Peppers would be far more entertaining. 

I’m sure part of it is that I’ve never seen the half-time show before and that people are just over-hyping it to the point where it could never meet my expectations. At the same time, though, I was honestly disappointed, because for one of the most popular performances every year, there’s nothing truly special about it. I suppose the lesson here is bigger isn’t always better. Still, it could always be worse. At least I’m not a Broncos fan. 

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