You do not want to know the discourse I have to deal with when it comes to pizza. Every Monday, I eat pizza with my friends. And every time, someone makes a comment on what should or shouldn’t be on pizza. Whether it be mushrooms, pineapples, or maple syrup-flavoured bacon, someone is hating on a topping.
But let’s get to the topic of pineapple on pizza. After engaging in a Twitter conversation with a friend of mine who said, “Pineapples on pizza is fucked up,” I decided to google “pineapples on pizza” and discovered a whole new level of pizza topping discourse.
Basically, the President of Iceland said that if it was up to him, he would have pineapples on pizza banned. The worst part of all this is that it caused turmoil on Twitter. The fact that someone of power denouncing pineapples on pizza caused tons of articles denouncing and defending pineapples on pizza is appalling. What has this world come to?
I don’t understand what makes people cry in outrage when they hear, or see for that matter, pineapples on pizza. You see, I hate meat lover’s pizza because I find it too greasy, but I don’t go around parading the disgusting nature of meat lover’s. Yet, here we are in 2017, the year pineapples on pizza caused people to go on Twitter to either defend or condemn their existence.
The pizza topping discourse has gone too far. We need to stop this outrage because it is irrational and immature. Next thing you know, we’re going to have anti-pizza topping movements going around and spreading hate.
Seriously though, if people on campus start an “anti-pineapples on pizza” movement, I’m never eating pizza ever again for the rest of my life. Except on Mondays, until my graduation.
3B, Sociology and French