Seneca baby

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The Hooded Humpty that haunted the Egg Fountain over the last four years was revealed to be none other than Seneca Velling, Feds VP Operations and Finance-elect (VPOF).

“Hooded Humpty” was the name given to the man in the hood that could be seen drinking out of the Egg Fountain once or twice evry month.

In reality, Velling had discovered that the Egg Fountain is the Fountain of Youth that Juan Ponce de León sailed to the New World to find.

Velling found that the water from the Fountain is only effective when drawn with a green-stained glass cup for 49 full moon nights. Last Tuesday, he revealed that he had miscalculated, and had continued to drink the water for seven extra nights due to the many blue and super moons that have occured. This resulted in him beginning to age backwards.

“Mistakes were made by all of the explorers, as well,” he said. “Other alchemists and curious souls before me — of course they tried their best, but the resources were different and they did not have the technical know-how required to harvest and ingest the water.”

Velling suspects that he will be a baby by the end of the 2019-2020 school year.

He plans to continue his duties as VPOF as he will retain his mental faculties.

“It’s not a huge deal, it is definitely an obstacle, my aging backwards, however I plan on fulfilling my responsibility as your elected VPOF from the fresh perspective of a child,” he said.

It is unclear what will happen to baby Velling, and who will take care of him at that stage. He  is still working toward his degree and intensely scheduling his life around the number of muscles he plans to have in the future.

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