Spots in UW so empty its spoooookyyy!

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So you’re looking for a place where no one can hear you scream? Or maybe you have a weird sexual fetish? Maybe you want to continue your high school tradition of eating alone but minus Moaning Myrtle?

At any rate, these are 4 spots should satisfy your need. We are talking about places where there are 0 people so be sure to check them out if you think it’ll help you prepare for exams (or, you know, the other three things).

  1. Goose infested forest — Regardless of whether or not you’ve ever stepped foot in the actual colleges, you probably have gazed at the grass across the river dividing college from university. If you attempt a short-cut between Health Services and the bridge closest to PAS, you’ll find an area no one dares to tread. Feel free to call that land your own until most Arts students come back in Fall and reclaim the colleges.

  2. Abandoned society rooms — If being outside in the beautiful sunshine isn’t your thing, try any one of the societies for majors that don’t continue during Spring term. Did you know that History majors and religious studies majors aren’t allowed to do co-op? Did you know that regardless of this they still have lounges, open for the taking? Borrow one of these rooms and no one will ever find you again.

  3. T.A. offices — Maybe the thrill of being alone is not enough for you.  Maybe you feel the need to thrust your aloneness into other people’s face.  If so, this difficult-to-pull-off technique is for you.  In this four-step method, you start by entering an office of a T.A. with no exams coming up.  Unless your class is weird, you should be the only one there.  Next, you wait until the T.A. has to go to the bathroom. Step 3 requires you to quickly shut the door and lock it.  Finally, turn up your music to an extraordinary enough level to explain how you didn’t hear your T.A.  If you’re brave enough to use this method please write to Imprint to let us know how it went.

  4. Laurier — Maybe the idea of being alone anywhere near people is ridiculous to you.  If so, fear not.  There is basically an entire university empty of inhabitants just across the block.  Of course, I am referring to Wilfred Laurier University, where between the occasional wayward student and the musicians practicing for Quartetfest, you should be able to locate a solid two building radius devoid of human life.

Are you doing anything interesting alone in school? 

Imprint is compiling a list on things to do when your in empty rooms.

To contribute, send an email to distractions@uwimprint.ca

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