Student unification through uniforms

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In a surprising turn of events, UW released a statement last week informing students that a school uniform will be enforced starting in Fall 2015. Furthermore, the uniforms will be divided up into faculty colours rather than UW’s long standing black and gold.


In an interview with an anonymous UW official, it was revealed that this new policy comes from the university’s desire to increase school spirit.


“Last month we put together a special task force to address our terrible school spirit rankings,” claimed the official.


“We did a Google search to see what other people have done and wearing school colours and official clothing was on the top of every list.”


When asked about the choice to use faculty colours, a School Spirit Committee (SSC) member replied: &ldquo;I actually got the idea from watching <em>Harry Potter</em> with my son. So much of the Hogwarts school spirit derives from inter-house competition, and I thought the idea would translate well into UW&rsquo;s competitive culture.&rdquo;


The committee member further elaborated: &ldquo;We&rsquo;ve found that UW students don&rsquo;t really care about how they rank against other universities because they all carry a sense of superiority that perpetuates the idea that Waterloo isn&rsquo;t even in the same league as schools such as Laurier. So we thought, why not make our students compete against one another?&rdquo;


In light of the <em>Harry Potter</em>-influenced uniforms, students have spent much time debating which faculty is UW&rsquo;s Hufflepuff. Arts students are adamant that it&rsquo;s Applied Health Sciences, but every other faculty is sure it&rsquo;s Arts.


Initial plans for the uniforms include four different outfit options to reflect the great variety of weather students must endure throughout the year. &ldquo;We&rsquo;re trying to make the transition as smooth as possible. We&rsquo;ll do our best to respect long standing seasonal traditions such as yoga pants season and sundress season.&rdquo;


Students&rsquo; reactions were mixed, ranging from anger: &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t believe I have to wear orange for the next three years of my life! Do you think I could still switch faculties two years into my degree?&rdquo; to resignation: &ldquo;Well I mean I pretty much just go to class in my pyjamas anyway, I don&rsquo;t really care.&rdquo;


The cost of uniforms will be included in tuition, and each student will receive a set amount of clothing. Additional items will be sold in the Waterloo store in SCH.


Feds has issued a statement saying that they have met with the School Spirit Committee and they &ldquo;will be working alongside them in order to ensure that students&rsquo; apparel needs are being met and that this is accomplished at a reasonable price.&rdquo;


The university will be putting an estimated $4.6 million into research over the next year in order to develop the most pragmatic, innovative, environmentally responsible, and universally loved uniforms. To give your input on style choices/sabotage other faculties&rsquo; clothing options you can visit <a href="#">www.uwuniforms.ca</a> where Feds will be running polls and discussion boards to consult students on their opinions, in the name of student advocacy, until April 2015.
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