Top 10 things I’m going to “miss” about Waterloo

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Since I just graduated from Waterloo and am embarking on my middle school weab dream of living in Japan for a year, I wanted to reflect on the things I’m really going to miss about Waterloo (sarcasm obviously intended).

1. Geese shitThe idea that there are patches of grass and sidewalks elsewhere that aren’t covered in green geese shit sounds fake.

2. ION construction – Remember when moving around the KW region didn’t require a battle plan two days in advance and provisions for the journey ahead? Navigating the traffic and detours has ended multiple marriages by this point.

3. Haha what social life?Between homework, classes and co-op it was hard to maintain a lively social life. Pretending my social life was on par with the average Laurier student became a hobby at UW. “WE HAVE FUN I SWEAR!” I would scream while crying over my six essays.
4. Stingy for snow daysYou know your school is so academically focused when getting that sweet A+ is worth climbing snow banks and getting frostbite. This has been rehashed for an eternity but seriously giving a snow day when its -40 C and breathing hurts isn’t going to kill anyone. The cold might though.
5. Startup sins The guilt of not being CEO of three start-up Velocity companies at 22 had me repenting like I was in church and had committed a grievous sin. It’s hard being an overachiever in a world of over-and-above-achievers.
6. Oh, you’re in Arts?Getting into the difference between Arts and the STEM faculties at UW could take all day. Having to routinely apologize for daring to take anything other than Engineering at UW and complaining about the homework though… that’s pretty self-explanatory. Also our job prospects aren’t that bad! We didn’t go to York after all.
7. Too many TimmiesIt doesn’t matter that there are six Tim Hortons on campus, there is going to be a line. I guarantee it. (Also where is my Roll-Up the-Rim car?)
8. Jobmine While you can’t beat the convenience of Jobmine, it’s weird that a school with such a strong CS faculty has such an ugly, clunky job search site with actual business hours.
9. Hiked tuition Despite international students making up a sizeable chunk of the UW population, their tuition keeps getting hiked. They are already paying around triple for the privilege to come to the middle of nowhere Ontario, give them a break man. (Sorry Waterloo, you ain’t Toronto.)
10. Non-transferrable parking – For some reason, despite having buildings spread out across like five dimensions and in another galaxy, when you purchase parking for one lot you are trapped there forever. Students should be able to drive across campus and still park. Who made up this rule? Someone please educate me.
In reality, past the salt, Waterloo has been a great place to go to school — the people I’ve met have been so intelligent and passionate, the potato and pea samosas at MC are tasty enough to warrant the tuition, and I don’t think any other school would have prepared me as well for being a capital “A” Adult. It’s been great UW. Now please reimburse me.
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