University of Waterloo slogan contest turns disastrous


A recent campus-wide contest to invent UW’s first slogan has gone off the rails, with top members of the university administration calling it an “unmitigated disaster.”

The contest began mid-January, as an attempt to make students “engage with the university community and become a part of its growing legacy,” according to a notice put out by the President’s Office. Ballot boxes were set up in each building on campus, prompting students to leave the university suggestions for a slogan.

However, due to an immature sense of humour or just general student apathy, most of the competition’s participants didn’t take it seriously, recommending obviously bad slogans such as “University of Waterloo: A circular campus, full of squares.” Remarkably, all but one of the slogans submitted appear to be satirical.

The one non-joke slogan, “The spirit of ‘why not?’” is apparently under review by the university, according to an inside source within the administration, as the university decides whether or not to write the entire competition off as a gross error in judgment.

Highlights among the suggested slogans include:

  • University of Waterloo: Just as good as Laurier. No, seriously 
  • University of Waterloo: A circular campus, full of squares
  • University of Waterloo: Co-op ‘til you drop
  • University of Waterloo: Where school spirit comes to die
  • University of Waterloo: send nudes
  • University of Waterloo: [insert some random Latin words here]
  • University of Waterloo: We care about our students’ … money
  • University of Waterloo: Geese welcome
  • University of Waterloo: Hey, it beats UofT
  • University of Waterloo? More like University of Water-poo
  • I can’t think of anything funny to say but I wanted to be a part of this anyway
  • Eggs, milk, bread, cheese, lettuce, ointment cream, toilet paper