UW Food Services moves one step close to defeating COVID-19

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In a recent email sent to UW students, president Feridun Hamdullahpur announced that the cafeteria at Claudette Millar Hall, The Market, has started serving a “special” meal that makes students immune to COVID-19. 

The meal consists of a bucket of fried honey-garlic bat wings with a side choice of lime cilantro rice or fries. For drinks, students can choose between Corona Light, Corona Extra and Corona Premier beer. The meal comes with either a book on things you can do once you are immune to COVID-19 or a badge that reads “Waterloo and COVID-19 Warrior.” 

“All UW students are urged to take at least two servings of this COVID-19 Happy Meal in order to facilitate our return to in-person activity by fall 2021,” Hamdullahpur said.

“After hours of research, UW Food Services has found the formula to beat COVID-19. Turns out the answer was hidden in the name all this time,” he added.

The COVID-19 Happy Meal will be served seven days a week, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. until Aug. 31, 2021. 

“We are hopeful that, by then, all undergraduate students will be eligible to get vaccinated and we will not need this meal anymore,” Hamdullahpur added. 

The meal is priced at $20.19 per serving, including HST, and students can use their UHIP or OHIP to get reimbursed. Students must present a negative COVID-19 test and their WatCard prior to purchasing and consuming the meal as UW is not certain whether the meal will work on those who are not UW students. 

“Students are welcome to eat at The Market and do not need to follow social distancing guidelines as we are certain that nothing will happen to them. The meal works immediately. After the first serving, students must wait for six hours for the second serving, and should ensure they consume nothing but water in those six hours,” Hamdullahpur said. 

“All international students are required to return to Waterloo and purchase the COVID-19 Happy Meal. UW will be keeping track of who has or has not consumed this meal, following which defaulters will be told to withdraw. We will not be reimbursing international students for the cost of travel,” Hamdullahpur said. 

As of Apr. 27, 2021, 150 students have consumed this meal and some have said they believe it is showing promising results. 

“I ate my two servings on Apr. 19 and attended an end-of-term party at an off-campus residence. This party led to 11 out of 25 attendees testing positive for COVID-19, and even though I drank from the same keg as them, I tested negative,” an anonymous UW student said. 

On further investigation, it was found that 14 of the party’s attendees who tested negative had consumed their two servings of the COVID-19 Happy Meal. 

Another student who ate the meal said, “I took a couple of rips from a bong shared by five students and instantly, the paranoia hit. I was worried that I might have contracted the virus and was freaking out a little.”

The student immediately sobered up and ran to The Market to purchase their two servings. 

“Two of the students who hit the bong tested positive. But thanks to the Happy Meal, I tested negative and am doing absolutely fine,” the student said. 

According to Hamdullahpur, the COVID-19 Happy Meal is not available on Uber Eats and DoorDash and can only be purchased at The Market.

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