Fast 8 Furious

Recently, a new <em>Fast and Furious</em> trailer was released and GODDAMMIT. It&rsquo;s amazing. Oh yeah, it looks ridiculous, what with the parachuting muscle cars, the impossible physics, and the predictable one-liners, but dang it looks fun.

I only started caring about the <em>FF</em> franchise at <em>Fast Five</em>, the one about the bank heist in Brazil. Anyone can attest to the fact every heist movie is good (besides <em>Ocean&rsquo;s 12</em>), so the movie held me for its duration. It was also the first of the <em>FF</em> franchise to introduce Dwayne &ldquo;The Rock&rdquo; Johnson into its cast and he&rsquo;s always good fun, so that added to its appeal. Finally, it took place in Brazil, a place I would really want to visit if it weren&rsquo;t so dangerous. What a perfect equation to make an outsider want to watch a movie series that is about, first and foremost, cars.

Then <em>Fast &amp; Furious 6</em> came out. Talk about killing the mood. <em>Fast Five</em> was bright and colourful with a fun plot. It was a silly movie, but I really enjoyed it. <em>FF6</em> was set in London &mdash; the plot mimicked the setting such that it was drab, gray, and boring. There were some interesting action scenes, like a fist fight in the underground, and some dumb physics, like the infamous runway scene, but otherwise it was lame. I guess I was aware there would be a seventh movie, but I more or less forgot about it.

Then the trailer for <em>Furious </em>7 was released, and I got excited again. Firstly, I love how lame the title is. For those unaware, in the previous film a character got killed at the very end, which is where the latest installment picks up. The remaining seven people of the group are angry their friend was killed, thus, <em>Furious 7</em>. No subsequent title will live up to this one, especially since they&rsquo;ve used up all possible titles that can be based off the words &ldquo;Fast&rdquo; and &ldquo;Furious.&rdquo;

Apparently the <em>FF</em> movies have a timeline, and <em>Furious 7</em> will be the first to happen after <em>FF: Tokyo Drift</em>. I&rsquo;m more surprised by the fact <em>FF</em> has a timeline other than the order of the movies. To think that there is an overarching plot to this series that isn&rsquo;t just &ldquo;the same group of people get into hijinks involving cars&rdquo; is astonishing. But I digress...

What does the trailer reveal about this film? The plot is paper thin (the group is being hunted for revenge reasons) but that&rsquo;s not what I watch an <em>FF</em> film for; I watch for the cheesiness of it all. My fave two characters are played by Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson, the two together are hilarious and make for some great side characters. The trailer begins with Luda teasing Tyrese &mdash; and I&rsquo;m already smiling. Tyrese is <em>hilarious</em> in these movies. Then the group parachutes their muscle cars out of a plane, spear-hook an armoured RV, save some chick, and Paul Walker defies physics.

Then some other stuff happens, blah blah blah, much pandering, who cares. THEN my two favourite parts of the trailer happen. First, The Rock BREAKS OFF A FULL ARM CAST while saying &ldquo;Daddy&rsquo;s gotta go to work,&rdquo; GOLD BABY, GOLD. Second, the following exchange of dialogue: Some guy says, &ldquo;Like it or not, you and your friends are a part of it now,&rdquo; and Vin Diesel says, &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have friends, I got family.&rdquo;

WHAAAT!! I legit predicted that line before Diesel could even begin mumbling, AND I STILL LOVED IT.

So everyone should go see <em>Furious 7</em> whenever it comes out. Not for the cars, not for the girls, not even for the action, but for the pure cheese that oozes from the film. The over-the-top characters like crazy buff Dwayne Johnson, the perfectly laid out dialogue of Vin Diesel, and the problems that, for some reason, can always be solved by driving supped-up muscle cars. &nbsp;


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