Harleen meets all her deadlines *The events depicted in this article are fictional, however all quotations are real.

Harleen distracting me from getting photos for my article about her, by taking photos of me!

Harleen writes many articles for Imprint each week, but what you may not know is that she has never once submitted her work by the deadline.

“I set my own deadlines!” Harleen said.

It is without a doubt that Harleen spends many hours in the newsroom, possibly, too many hours; but the number of hours she spends actually writing is debatable. “Stop distracting me!” Harleen exclaims several times per day, claiming that other people are keeping her from doing her work, where, in fact, she is actually the one distracting everyone else. One of Harleen’s favourite procrastination methods is taking photos of Gina while she is working hard on making layouts for Imprint or taking her lunch break.

When she actually gets to doing her work, she is constantly faced with the same terrible dilemma: her work bores her to the point of “literally DEATH,” as Harleen put it so bluntly. “I’m SO bored,” she complains to me daily. “Then do your work,” I always respond. “I AM doing my work. That’s why I’m bored,” Harleen replies.

Figuring out how to get her to work harder was a tricky one. I’ve tried bribing her with chicken burgers, Timbits, and margaritas, but all efforts were futile. Over the past few months working with Harleen, I became so fed up with her constantly playing by her own rules. She caused Gina, and I to stay very late on production days, waiting for her to finish her articles so that we can put them in the paper.

So often that I decided to take matters into my own hands. I am very well acquainted with the geese on campus, so I asked them to do me a favour.

On Friday, Harleen was just getting ready to leave the Imprint office— without having any of her articles written— when suddenly she was ambushed by a group of geese! They hissed and charged at her, flapping their wings vigorously, and flew at her head and began pulling hard at her hair. In great distress, Harleen raced back into the office and slammed the door shut as quickly as possible. I was waiting for her in the office. “I guess you’re just going to have to keep working,” I said.

Harleen looked at me with widened eyes and quickly rushed back to her desk, and typed furiously. She didn’t stop for a single second to procrastinate or distract me from getting my own work done, which is what usually happens. She handed in all her articles to me, and it was only 2 p.m.! She then rushed out, but this time, the geese let her pass without any fowl-play. Finally, I have found a way to get Harleen to get her work done on time! I dismissed the geese and told them to meet me at the same place, same time next week.


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