The time was dragging on. I had been staring at my laptop screen for hours, finishing the final paper of my last undergraduate course. Focused, yet exhausted by the task and all that time online, I lifted my gaze when a sudden flutter of movement caught my eye. Looking up from my laptop, I was delighted to see a delicate, red-feathered baby bird had decided to perch on my open window sill. The little bird peered inside, met my gaze, and flew away in a flash.
Have you ever thought about all the moments you might miss when you’re distracted by your phone or laptop? From the moment we open our eyes to the moment we close them and finally get some sleep, we’ve likely spent several hours staring at a screen. Whether it’s at school or at a job, screens have become synonymous with getting our work done.
What about when time online begins to overtake our personal time? Though you might not be typing up a midterm paper on Word on your phone in your free time, scrolling through social media or engaging in other ‘leisure’ online activities during every other spare moment might mean unknowingly missing out on moments that just might mean the most.
So, how can we cultivate healthier screentime habits? Denise Marigold, associate professor in social development studies at UW, has lended her insights into what it means to use our screentime mindfully and in ways that can enhance our life and close relationships.
How is screen time affecting your well-being?
Asked how students can distinguish between ‘healthy’ and ‘unhealthy’ digital habits, Marigold said they should consider: “When people are using their screen time, what is it taking away from, if anything? What are they doing, or not doing, instead?” She went on to highlight how unhealthier habits are evident when individuals are avoiding responsibilities, such as work or school, or not engaging in regular exercise or in-person interactions. If you’re already a bit anxious about getting out there and interacting in-person, Marigold touched on how escaping through excessive screen time can contribute to escape conditioning: “The more you avoid that thing [that is] giving you anxiety, it just reinforces not doing the thing.”
Ensuring your screentime isn’t a mindless distraction to run from your responsibilities or work lies at the core of understanding whether your relationship with screen is supporting or undermining your well-being. A 2023 PubMed study touched on how research into the hazards of excessive screen time suggests that the physical health consequences are worth paying attention to. As most of us will know, staring at our screens for hours on end can cause eye strain, headaches, and neck, shoulder, and back pain as a result of the poor posture often assumed while on our devices. Likewise, the mental health impact of too much screen time is layered. When we use our devices in a way that leads to reduced face-to-face interactions, we’re much more likely to feel a reduction in our sense of connection with others.
A 2019 study on the effects of excessive screen time neurodevelopment and mental health, published in the International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction found that correlations have already been linked to higher screen usage and higher rates of anxiety and depression, among other mood disorders. The impact of blue light on the circadian rhythm can reduce our ability to get quality sleep, in turn increasing our risk of developing a mood disorder. The study suggested that among young people, cognitive development can be negatively impacted by excessive screen use, resulting in poor problem-solving abilities, reduced creativity, and poor attention span.
If all of that isn’t enough to motivate you to set limits on your recreational screentime,the study found that specifically among young adults aged 18-25, unhealthy and excessive screen time (which the study defined as over 2-3 hours of daily exposure to electronic media, including computer, phone, and television use) led to thinning of the cerebral cortex. This area of the brain manages memory and our ability to effectively make decisions and problem-solve.
Finally, a 2024 Stanford article describes passive screen time as comparable to “eating sugar but for your brain.” What they mean is that although it ‘tastes’ good, screentime isn’t real ‘nutrition’ for our brains. It’s truly in-person social connection, exercise, quality sleep, and hobbies that don’t make use of screens, that truly give our brains the ‘nutrition’ it needs to operate at its peak and enable us to feel truly well.
How has technology changed our expectations in relationships?
Have you ever texted a friend and expected an immediate reply, only to have them reply hours later? Some of us don’t mind receiving a later response when we reach out to friends through digital means. Our expectations can play a role in determining whether digital communication supports or reduces our sense of closeness and security in our close relationships.
Marigold touched on this common expectation that people respond to online communication urgently, describing, “there’s often an expectation that people will respond right away, be immediately available, because they have their phones.” She emphasized the need to understand that we may not always be able to speak to someone or receive a response, until we plan a sit-down conversation or reserve time for specific conversations.
Digital means of communication offer us a buffer in terms of the immediacy in which we reply. Via text, we’re able to take our time when crafting a reply, as opposed to needing to directly respond during in-person conversations. Marigold also described how in heated arguments or conversations, being able to sit with your feelings and response as opposed to blurting out your immediate response in-person, can be a benefit.
Jiah Kaur, a fourth-year biology student, believes technology keeps students connected amid their hectic schedules. She admits however, “I’ve noticed a distinction between being connected and actually feeling connected. While messaging is convenient, it doesn’t always substitute for face-to-face interactions.” Shen went on to emphasize how being overly absorbed in phones when out with others, can distract from the experience. She added, “While screens allow us to reach out to people more easily, they don’t always help us be fully present with them. It’s all about finding the right balance.”
Asked whether reducing her screentime would improve her quality of life, Rahmah Bacchus, a third-year chemistry student, agreed. She adds, “As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to appreciate offline time more than being online. Reducing my screen time would likely improve my overall well-being, eye health, and allow me to spend more time with others in-person.”
Passive (Scrolling) vs. Active engagement: Using social media effectively
There’s often a major difference you’ve already noticed between how you feel when mindlessly scrolling your social media feed, in contrast to how you feel when purposefully, actively engaging in posts or with people you have a sense of connection to. Interestingly, a 2021 journal article published in World Psychiatry, that examined the well-being impact of social networking sites such as Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter, finds that people are spending, on average, over two hours on social networking sites per day.
As described in this study, the key differentiators between whether all that time online supports our mental health or undermines it, lies in whether two distinct psychological mechanisms are at work. In cases of passive engagement, it is social comparison, specifically upward social comparison (i.e., seeing others as ‘better’) that is tied to feelings of inferiority and envy. Social comparison is at the core of why social media can negatively impact our mental health. In contrast, in active engagement with social media sites, social capital accrual is at the heart of how we can leverage these social platforms and support our well-being.
Social capital accrual encompasses bonding (instrumental and emotional support tied to our stronger connections) and bridging (the novel perspectives we can accrue through weaker ties). For instance, if you’re using LinkedIn, there can be benefits if you’re actively engaging with close connections or learning about topics that interest you through the posts of weaker ties. If instead you were simply spending your time on LinkedIn, or any social media app, scrolling and comparing accomplishments, you’re much more likely to feel worse.
How do phones and social media keep us hooked?
The addictive nature of phones and social media is not only tied to the algorithms and designs of apps, but also to the brain chemical dopamine, commonly involved in addiction. Anna Lembke, a Stanford psychologist, has done extensive research in her book Dopamine Nation, into how dopamine and phone addiction play out in today’s world. Addictions often form as a result of quick reward and ease of access, making smartphones and screens the perfect hit of ‘digital dopamine.’ With colorful images, flashing notifications, and endless videos, smartphones and social media offer a limitless supply of visual stimulus. Lembke’s research touches on how the human wiring for connection can make us all the more susceptible to compulsive overconsumption of social media, as we continually engage online for another hit of dopamine. The novelty factor further amplifies the drive to continue our online scrolling. When you finally get off Instagram or TikTok, “the brain is plunged into a dopamine-deficit state as it attempts to adapt to the unnaturally high levels of dopamine social media just released.” As a result, you wind up feeling awful when you finally stopped that one hour scroll, yet felt fine up until the moment you stopped engaging.
Developing digital mindfulness
Despite often knowing that our screentime habits aren’t helping us, the challenge of reducing our time online remains. When asked whether it’s possible to try and push oneself to reduce their screentime, Marigold shared, “With a lot of habit change it can’t just be about willpower, especially when phones and social media are designed to suck us in and addict us.” She went on to describe how social media websites algorithms’ continuous suggestion of videos and posts is an endless loop. She suggested developing external constraints, such as timers that lock you out of your cellphone or even leaving your phone further away, essentially “make it harder to access.”
However, being compassionate with yourself while working to set boundaries with your screen usage is key. As Marigold emphasized, “It’s designed to be an addictive substance and everyone is challenged with that.” She adds that all things considered, “It’s [about] making sure you have things in your life that are as rewarding, if not more so, than scrolling.” Although it can often be more difficult to get your friends together and coordinate schedules to meet up, Marigold agreed, “it’s worthwhile to put in those efforts to be interacting in the real world.” She also encourages individuals to consider how they feel after an hour of scrolling compared to a walk with a friend, encouraging us to think ahead to how we will feel later when making decisions about our time online.
The first step to ensuring your screentime is adding to your life and enhancing your relationships, might mean developing the self-awareness to question when and why we are choosing to be online. For others, perhaps it is about finding the people and moments that make showing up feel like something you don’t want to miss, because when we’re happiest and most at peace is rarely when we’re online, and is instead when we’re able to pause, be with people we care about, and live in the moment.
Screens can connect us from halfway across the world to friends and family that mean everything to us. Other times, technology becomes an unhealthy escape, a distraction from challenging emotions you need to face. When you find yourself compulsively reaching for your phone while out with friends, consider pausing, setting it back down, and remembering what it means to be present. In a world where social media and phones can lead us to forget celebrating what we have and what’s already meaningful in our lives, logging out and looking up might just mean spotting a bird outside you’ve never seen before, or discovering moments the online world can’t match.
